My angel

I still can't believe I'm about two months away from being a "mom". The other day I got a letter in the mail from a family friend, she wrote: 

Dear Macee & Ashleigh, 

      I have wanted to write you a letter ever since your mom passed away. I wanted to tell you just how much she has meant to me in my life. What a great influence she was. How loving, kind, deep down good, how caring, how she was a do anything to help, great lady, and dear friend. 

     When I first moved into the Sandy ward, she and Dell were the the first two people to greet us. She had long dark hair and your dad had a big beard...it was December 1978. Dell was growing it to be Santa Clause! Maline was so sweet and friendly. I immediately liked her. I was nineteen and eight months pregnant. I was nervous about being a mom and having my first home. Maline tucked me under her wing and began a lasting friendship.

      She was always there to help- me and everyone! She'd bring meals when I had babies, she'd volunteer to tend, she'd remember birthdays, organize lunches, and parties, dinners, play groups, get togethers at the park or to go to a play. She helped when I was flat in bed for three months pregnant; even sneaking away a quilt I was working on and surprising me and having it finished! She and your dad were ALWAYS doing something kind for someone else. She would see a need and do something without even habing to think about it. Service and kindness were who she was.  

     There were seasons in our lives when Maline and I talked on the phone EVERY DAY! She was such a happy person! She helped me be a better person! She showed me, by example, how to serve others. She showed me how to live the gospel and really care about others. I came from a home that didn't have any church or service or any of that, so her example really, truely, changed the course of my life!!! I will always love her for that! I didn't know to teach a lesson. Do you remember your mom's lessons? She put SO much into them!! Back before you were born, Relief Society was in the middle of the week. Your mom would study all month, prepare posters (by hand, no computers back then), make hand outs, sometimes treats, table decorations and object lessons. And of course, everything had to be color cordinated from the tablecloth, to the paper, to the dress she wore! AMAZING!!  

     She also loved organizing fun things to do for you girls! I remember going to a puppet show up in SLC with all you kids-Jonah and the Whale (you were little Ashleigh!) So cute! So fun! She wanted you to have all kinds of experiences...and lots of fun! We took dance and swim lessons together. We took you to picnics, and plays and performances and parties and lots and lots more! She loved you so much! Maline was so proud of you girls. I am sure you are both amazing mothers (or will be Macee) because of the example she set.

     I just wanted you to know I love your mom. I think of her ofthen and thank my Heavenly Father for letting me have her friendship.

     Macee, I wish you all the very, very best! May 

     God bless and strengthen you and your families always! 

      Love you!

 I knew my mom was amazing, she put up with me for 18 years after all! I have cried at the thought of not ever being able to see her with Makayla. I wish she was here to take care of Terry for me, or at least give him a break. If I can just be a fraction of the lady described above I'd be honored. I sure miss this best friend of mine!

I hope to make Makayla smile just like my mom made me

A letter Ash and I will always treasure, thanks Susan!

Lately

I feel like we haven't done much lately, I'm exhausted by the end of the day, my back kills me, and all I want to do is warm up my heating pad, lay down and watch Prison Break with Terry. He's been so supportive, literally I only get up to use the restroom other than that Terry is one step ahead of me, he just wants me to rest after a long day at the office. He has packed up our whole family, who knew the two of us and half a peanut could have so many boxes? He hasn't complained once, I feel guilty that I got such a great guy. A few weeks ago we were on a date with my sister and Shaun. My dad had called both of us while we were at dinner and left a message to call him back. He doesn't call us on the weekend, and his voicemails usually say "I'll try you at another time" Stating don't call me back, I'll call you when I'm free. Ash called him back while she was in the car and I called him when we had arrived at the bowling alley...NBD He won 10,000 dollars! Being the great guy he is, he put it towards a new car for his wife. How fun for both of them, MERRY CHRISTMAS daddy-o!

I'll never see a check with so many zeros at the end.

I have only seen Father Christmas at Dickens Festival my whole life. As far as we know, he's the real deal and all the other Santa's are a bunch of fakes. My sister has seen him since she was 4, and he's still around!

These two...seriously the best of buds. Mia told me the other day "I can't wait to be best buddies with you, Terry, AND MAKAYLA! I hope she likes me!" Last night we went over to my dads for pizza and to decorate cookies...I'm surprised none of us are in a sugar coma at the moment!

And again...this guy won his basketball league, league leading scorer, and is it to soon to say he's going to win his fantasy football league on Sunday?! I'm glad he's good at the things that make him happy!

Epic

As ridiculous as this soudns...this piece of paper is more rewarding than my college diploma. After 6 loooooong weeks, working 10-12 hours a day I was certified! When I got the phone call that I not only passed my written test but I scored 100% I was in shock. Epic is an EMR system that all clinics/hospitals in Utah will be using by 2015. An opportunity that will challenge me as well as open up new possibilites. I'm more relieved I don't have to carry my 20+ pound bag around anymore! Thanks to Terry for letting me practice my presentation on him, and talk to him like he's a doctor every day for those six weeks.

I taught my first lesson to a physician last week and I was so nervous. I ended up building a great relationship with him and his P.A. and they contacted my manager and asked if I could do some of his side work because he likes my work ethic. 8 more weeks of working though and then I'm off to have this little miss of ours!

Festivities

I can't express enough how grateful I am for this boy! We celebrated his special day the only way us Garners were raised...having a week long celebration! Sunday was still spent watching football and baking his favorite goodies. Monday night I ordered pizza from Village Baker, made him a reeces cake, and we ate our heart out and watched MNF and the Jazz game. Who knew just my family could down so much food so fast! We all acted like we hadn't ate in weeks and it was our last meal. Tuesday he had a day with his boys. Wednesday we did WHATEVER he wanted. Went to breakfast, went shopping, had lunch, and just celebrated the birth of my man on his actual birthday! That night his sister flew in from Seattle and we went to Iggys for dinner. Thursday morning we went to my sisters so the boys could go play in a turkey bowl, and us girls were LAZY! It was great for a big 'ol pregnant lady that can barely move! We went home and watched more football before getting our Thanksgiving dinner prepared. His mom and sister did a great job and it was all so delicious! This is also the first year that I backed out of Black Friday shopping. I was pooped and in bed by 9:30 or so....pathetic, yes but I was out like a light and had no problem admitting I'm old! Haha Friday morning we went to Ashley furniture to see if we could find a good deal on furniture. We hit jackpot and he bought us some couches! We then decided that we needed a place to put them once we get them delivered so house hunting we went. We found the cutest place literally 5 minutes from my sisters! We filled out our paperwork and Terry knew I was EXHAUSTED and my back was killing me so he asked my sis to take care of me so he could go to the gym. On his way to the gym he got a call....we were approved! Friday night we spent time with his family playing games, and watching movies! Saturday we went in to pick out our paint colors, had a celebratory lunch. He wanted to go shopping again, so off we went, made it home in time to quickly change and guests started arriving for our joint family party/shower! Mia made sure to help Terry open his presents

GOOBERS

This guy! So glad to have a day where we celebrate him, he's pretty great.

His Reeces cake....soooo yummy, one of my favorite desserts

Cold stone cake...I may or may not have ate half of it by myself (I blame it on the extra daily calories demanded for our growing child)

I say it all the time but I truly can't express how grateful I am for this boy and all he does for us, I'm so lucky to have such a perfect best friend!

November 2

Who knew so much could change within a year! Back when Terry and I first started dating seriously I had numerous people tell me not to. I remember talking to my sister about it, she said "You have to learn for yourself" she was in a similar situation many many years ago so I knew I could trust her advice. I spent many nights in tears as friends would give me crap about him, but I remember thinking "He's not the one that made you feel this way, so don't take it out on him" I've dated his "type" before...in fact I seem to only have dated his "type" so I knew how to play the game. If I wasn't with Terry, I was either at my sisters or home alone. I remember thinking "Did I somehow give up my social life for this guy?" With any relationship in the past that is the one thing I held on to, but my bigger surprise was "Why do I not care?" Terry is a popular man, in fact I still think over one year later and we haven't gone out in public without one person knowing and addressing him (even in other states). He may be popular but daily he makes me feel like I am the only one that matters in this world. Still to this day I call him my "smooth talker". There's times that I've been hard on myself because of it. I know how many gorgeous women there are out there, ones that still want his attention and I would think "Why me?" I've even talked to him about it, "You could have ANY woman out there, seriously, girls LOVE you, why do you come home to me every night?" He always comforts me as I feel like I am making him settle, and reassures me that there is nobody or nowhere else he'd rather be. Talking to a few girlfriends one day at lunch and hearing their problems it then hit me, I am so lucky to have a man that WANTS to be with me, that CHOOSES to be with me, and can't wait to see me EVERY day! I didn't realize how truly blessed I was. We grew up and we grew together.

I LOVE that he truly is my backbone, because of him I got the courage to talk to my boss about an issue at work. I am now training for another job, and it has opened so many doors for me with working with other clinics and corporate! (I'll post about it later) Every day I can't wait to go home and talk to him about what I learned at work that day. 

I LOVE that Terry lets me make him dinners, and try new recipes every week.

I LOVE being "wifey" material and working, coming home making dinner and having it hot on the table when he walks in the door. 

I LOVE that he is so involved in our babies life already, he doesn't want to miss an appointment, or registry opportunity. 

I LOVE that comes from such an incredible family, that treat me like their own. 

I LOVE that he is so close with my family, him and my BIL are Sunday buddies, I couldn't be more blessed for a man to fit in so well, and treat the girls so well. 

I LOVE that he feels bad when they are more excited to see him than me because he knows how much those two mean to me, and I wouldn't change my world for anything.

I LOVE that he has surprised me and taken flowers to my moms grave to thank her for raising me. 

I LOVE that he loves games, and having game nights and a relationship with my dad are important to him. 

I LOVE that he buys me random/needed presents to thank me for taking care of him on a daily basis. 

I LOVE that he puts me first, even when he's had a bad day, he doesn't hesitate to do the little things for me.

I LOVE that he does the laundry...seriously I am sooo blessed!

I LOVE that he acknowledges my effort to make sure he's happy at the end of the day.

I LOVE that he helps with dishes every night. 

 LOVE how athletic he is, he won a gift card last night for being the leagues leading scorer and all he could think was what we can buy for our baby with it.

I LOVE how selfless he is.

I LOVE that he puts up with my Pinterest and football addictions.

I LOVE that every night he makes sure I have a drink of water by the bed.

I LOVE that we met because of a kickball league..definitely not your typical story.

I LOVE being completely goofy with you.

I LOVE  that we have become one.

I LOVE that he truly is my best friend, and made me a better person

I LOVE that putting him first is my first priority, because I know he appreciates it.

I LOVE that he has taught me how and that it's okay to love again. I can't imagine raising our baby girl with anyone else.

I LOVE you Terry James and am so grateful to start this chapter of our life with you! Our first year was filled with memories to last a lifetime, I can't wait to see what happens in the years to come. Thank you for letting me be me, accepting my flaws and loving me for me!

Our biggest surprise!

Years ago...almost 7 to be exact I was leaving work to go meet my family at a funeral. I hadn't felt good that day and when I was about half way to my car, I couldn't even breath. I was practically crawling in the parking lot, tears streaming, wondering what was going on, I never felt that sick before. I remember driving holding my breath as long as I could because the pain was almost inbearable. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I knew something wasn't right. I remember trying to convince my parents that I would go to the ER after the funeral, I was fine if I didn't have to breath, I could hold my breath! Moms of course put their children first and my parents ended up taking me in. My sister and Alana went to the funeral, and then came to see me. They ran so many tests, I remember feeling scared because with every test I knew it was costing my parents more money, and it meant they still couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Come to find out, I had ovarian cysts burst. It ended up becoming a problem from then on out. Over the years I learned how to deal with the pain, and it has become more tolerable to deal with. Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year I was getting super sick, I could never keep greasy food down, or if I ate to much I threw it back up. I knew instantly that it was my gallbladder. I ALWAYS self diagnose myself, but that's what happens when I've been in the medical field for 7-8 years! Anywho when I made an appointment with my NP she asked about the cysts, I used to work for her so she knew my history and the frequency I got them. Of course they ran more tests, I went in to see the surgeon and I had a cyst burst right before my appointment so I was in even more pain. I had talked to him about it, and he told me I was right it was the gallbladder but the cysts were a concern. It took weeks of tests, and appointments, and they cleared me to have surgery but they also told me the most terrifying news...he's going to look at the ovaries while I'm in surgery and because of how frequent they have become they may remove them. It could be a health risk, and I also thought "more like a deal breaker for when I get married". At this point Terry and I were already pretty serious, I knew he wanted kids of his own, and we had talked if this would be the deal breaker for us. We didn't talk for a few days, it was a big issue to think about for both of us. I went in to my surgery and when I woke up and the surgeon was talking to my dad and I, I remember once he said "We left the ovaries for now" I thought PHEW, can't wait to talk to Terry! He called me a few hours after I got home and asked how it went, and what the doctor decided. I was relieved to tell him that I got to keep them, and extatic what it meant for me and the man I was in love with. Now here we are in October...I have felt EVERY emotion out there, I've realized that I have gained weight especially in the last few months, but I was thinking I don't work out like I used to, we've been going out to eat a lot more than usual, and I just had a birthday that maybe this is what happens when you hit mid 20's. I wanted to get back on track, but I just started training, and working crazy hours, by the time I get off it takes all I can to go pick dinner up, shower, have a decent conversation with Terry that lasts longer than 20 minutes without me crashing, just to wake up and head back into work in the wee morning hours! Terry was put in an awkward situation, but being such an incredible man he got the courage and addressed the situation. We talked and he went and got a pregnancy test, I took it, and the rest of the day I spent in tears. This is when EVERY emotion hit, I called and made an appointment but it would still be a couple more days before I got in. Sunday afternoons are spent with my family, Ash and I had to go get stuff for dinner, and she then addressed the same conversation Terry had with me. Terry doesn't get enough credit, here he was putting up with a fat girlfriend, multiple people asking him, and he talks to me and calls my sister on advice on how to go about it, and what the outcome was. He truly proved what a grown man he has become. Monday I worked an 11 hour shift trying to not think about what was about to become, Tuesday early morning I went into work for a few hours, picked breakfast up, went and met Terry and we headed to the doctors. I took another pregnancy test, met the doctor and she said "Oh you're measuring about 25 weeks!" I know, how is that possible to be that far along and not know. Like I said , it was just recently that I started really gaining weight, and not once did I get sick. It's all hit so fast, but the more I talk about it with Terry, my sister, and brother-in-law the more I'm realizing that it's what's meant to be. I feel like a bad mom already since I haven't even felt it, being in Utah I know people judge here more than anywhere else. I have certain friends that I was scared to tell, and others that I can't wait for them to know. Terry's friends have all been awesome. I was scared they would think "Dude she did it so she could trap you." I don't give his friends enough credit either because they have all been supportive. I have fallen even more in love with Terry during these past few weeks than I thought was possible. He doesn't even hesitate to call my sister or Shaun with any questions/concerns. I always dreamed of telling my family in some cute way, but there is more to life than announcing the birth of our baby GIRL! Terry knew it was a girl, and already SOOOO protective. When I go in for ultrasounds he asks "Do you have to push so hard?" hahaha she's going to be the biggest daddy's girl, and we are even more thrilled that she can have two cousins teach her the ways of life! This is all happening so fast, but I have been blessed with the most incredible support system out there! Valentines day is around the corner, but I'm glad we get to enjoy this holiday season preparing for our greatest blessing!

Busiest month of my life

October is by far a crazy busy month for my family! We have FOUR birthdays within a month and make sure to plan lots of Halloween festivites for the kiddos! First HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend/sister. I truly am so grateful to have her in my life. I know that if Mom was still with us, we probably wouldn't be as close as we are, it's the one blessing I can think of not having my mom here anymore. We made sure to celebrate, went out on a group date to Z'Tejas, shopped, and enjoyed being together as a family!

Next birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our littlest princess Mia! Oh the joys this little one brought to our family. Her crazy self, and determined attitude allow no dull moment while she is around. She is the smartest 4 year old, loves showing off her French, and has no problem telling us "I'm cute and smart!" (Maybe I've told her one to many times and she now knows it!)

The third birthday on October 4th...DADDY O! I absolutely adore, love my fajah! He has been the best example of unconditional love and hard work. He always puts his family first, even if he had to miss out to work, he made sure we were all taken care of, happy, and healthy! I truly hope I can take after him, he is the example of a perfect parent. I love you daddy, and no matter how old I am, I'll always be your little girl!

For date night we went to Vivint's year end party...Imagine Dragons! Thanks to the IOS update, concerts got cool again! They dropped a bunch of balloons down, and a natural instinct is to swat it, Terry did just that and the boy two rows in front of us jumped up, grabbed it, popped it, and came out $250-300 richer...I'm sure our faces were priceless, but we had to be grateful that we got a dinner, concert, and parking all for free!

Awful picture, but I LOVE this man, thanks babe for a great date night!

Mia's birthday cake! It turned out so cute! Ash had a carnival themed party, with a bounce house, LOTS of game booths, and even more food! It turned out so cute!

I'm slightly obsessed with this picture. Not often do you get to see Mia's real laugh/smile. She's pretty good at faking it, and the only one that can get her to do it is "Her Terry" They are the best of friends, and when Terry sucks helium balloons Mia is a crack up to watch and says "My Terry sounds like a fish!"

Utah has been stunning this fall, it's lasted the whole month of October, and been sooooo warm! Terry and I have tried to take advantage of it, go for walks to the park, shoot some hoops, talk, and just enjoy the view!

Oh Halloween! Once again, I am NOT a fan of Halloween, if I do dress up I make sure to find something in my closet and throw it together. This year we had a Davis family Halloween party to attend so we actually had to come up with an idea... This was just to fitting...

HOT DOG!!!

His family and I laughed for a good 5-10 minutes when he came out like this....for a moment there I truly thought we were going to be "white trash"

Then we pulled together something classier out of our closest and went as a gangster and flapper girl!

Carved pumpkins while his sister was in town! I do a Utah one EVERY year and my sister makes sure to ALWAYS give me crap, this year Terry insisted on carving the U so I came up with a face...real original I know!

And for our last birthday this month...HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANNY! I truly love you more and more every year! It has been a joy watching her grow up and become the beautiful young lady she is today. I remember her birth so well, every little detail, sometimes Ash even has to ask me "What time was she born?" haha I was sooo honored to become an aunt! I can't wait to take her on our annual birthday shopping spree and lunch date we have done EVERY year! It's definitely something we look forward to every year!

I:September

I am SOOOOO behind so here is a brief recap from September! The girls started school! Holy crap how is Mia already in school? She is loving it, and LOVES informing us of the french words she learns every week!

Nan is loving APA! She looks forward to school every day, although she has 10x's the amount of homework she had at a public school!

Steamers!! AHH now that I no longer get my coconut sno cone every Thursday I get my steamers, I was SOOOO excited for my first pumpkin steamer, it's all that got me thru my work day, and I took one sip and SPLAT!!! It spilled all over the bleachers and I sat there talking myself out of crying and that $4 isn't to bad to spend on something I didn't even get to enjoy.

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!! The real all time high of the year! Is it sad that the two of us can't even go a day without mentioning the word "football"? We are slightly obsessed and LOVING seeing what it brings out it in our families. UTAH (wo)man 'til I die! Weird as my first year not in the MUSS but cheering for my alma mater will NEVER get old!

Sundays are for baking with this goob, and watching football with our fam...seriously life is absolutely perfect on Sundays!

We love dinner outings with the fam for some sushi!

And to end the month on a high note.....my straightner broke in the middle of doing my hair getting ready for work, however I have the most incredible man EVER who went and bought me a new one on his own, and even wrapped it up and gave it to me when I got home! I am the LUCKIEST!!

iPhone August

August was a busy month trying to fit every last minute of summer fun in! My best friend since 7th grade got married! I am so incredibly happy for him and Lauria!

My "brothers" since 7th grade! These boys always have and always will be there for me until the end!

Now that wedding season is coming to an end we were able to take 10 days off and head up to Terry's cabin! OH MY!!!! It was breathtaking, being glued to his hip for 10 days was the best part!

That one time you eat a whole thing of Costco grapes in ONE day!

My favorite view was the view from their dock, where I spent most of the time reading, laughing, sleeping, eating, and taking it all in!

I missed out on their girls trip to St. Geezy.....HOLY CRAP 13 days without seeing them just about killed me! We were able to facetime daily, but it was usually the following conversation "HEY NUGGETS!!" "Hi Cee-Cee, still on your trip?" "Yeah we're still here!" "Let me see" After showing them our view "Oh, Where's Terry?" As soon as I showed his face, I was non-existent and Terry was all that mattered for them

Aren't they the cutest?! I'M OBSESSED and couldn't wait to see them!

Thanks baby for an amazing time in Montana, I couldn't have asked for anyone else to spoil me the way he does on a daily basis! Our journey home was LOOOOOOOOOONG but we made it! The best part was after unpacking and turning on football, the babes joined me and we were able to go see the whole fam! My dad and the babes were real happy to see us! Mia wouldn't leave Terry's side, and Alana made sure to catch me up on all the latest gossip! Life is to great to not be happy!