November 2

Who knew so much could change within a year! Back when Terry and I first started dating seriously I had numerous people tell me not to. I remember talking to my sister about it, she said "You have to learn for yourself" she was in a similar situation many many years ago so I knew I could trust her advice. I spent many nights in tears as friends would give me crap about him, but I remember thinking "He's not the one that made you feel this way, so don't take it out on him" I've dated his "type" before...in fact I seem to only have dated his "type" so I knew how to play the game. If I wasn't with Terry, I was either at my sisters or home alone. I remember thinking "Did I somehow give up my social life for this guy?" With any relationship in the past that is the one thing I held on to, but my bigger surprise was "Why do I not care?" Terry is a popular man, in fact I still think over one year later and we haven't gone out in public without one person knowing and addressing him (even in other states). He may be popular but daily he makes me feel like I am the only one that matters in this world. Still to this day I call him my "smooth talker". There's times that I've been hard on myself because of it. I know how many gorgeous women there are out there, ones that still want his attention and I would think "Why me?" I've even talked to him about it, "You could have ANY woman out there, seriously, girls LOVE you, why do you come home to me every night?" He always comforts me as I feel like I am making him settle, and reassures me that there is nobody or nowhere else he'd rather be. Talking to a few girlfriends one day at lunch and hearing their problems it then hit me, I am so lucky to have a man that WANTS to be with me, that CHOOSES to be with me, and can't wait to see me EVERY day! I didn't realize how truly blessed I was. We grew up and we grew together.

I LOVE that he truly is my backbone, because of him I got the courage to talk to my boss about an issue at work. I am now training for another job, and it has opened so many doors for me with working with other clinics and corporate! (I'll post about it later) Every day I can't wait to go home and talk to him about what I learned at work that day. 

I LOVE that Terry lets me make him dinners, and try new recipes every week.

I LOVE being "wifey" material and working, coming home making dinner and having it hot on the table when he walks in the door. 

I LOVE that he is so involved in our babies life already, he doesn't want to miss an appointment, or registry opportunity. 

I LOVE that comes from such an incredible family, that treat me like their own. 

I LOVE that he is so close with my family, him and my BIL are Sunday buddies, I couldn't be more blessed for a man to fit in so well, and treat the girls so well. 

I LOVE that he feels bad when they are more excited to see him than me because he knows how much those two mean to me, and I wouldn't change my world for anything.

I LOVE that he has surprised me and taken flowers to my moms grave to thank her for raising me. 

I LOVE that he loves games, and having game nights and a relationship with my dad are important to him. 

I LOVE that he buys me random/needed presents to thank me for taking care of him on a daily basis. 

I LOVE that he puts me first, even when he's had a bad day, he doesn't hesitate to do the little things for me.

I LOVE that he does the laundry...seriously I am sooo blessed!

I LOVE that he acknowledges my effort to make sure he's happy at the end of the day.

I LOVE that he helps with dishes every night. 

 LOVE how athletic he is, he won a gift card last night for being the leagues leading scorer and all he could think was what we can buy for our baby with it.

I LOVE how selfless he is.

I LOVE that he puts up with my Pinterest and football addictions.

I LOVE that every night he makes sure I have a drink of water by the bed.

I LOVE that we met because of a kickball league..definitely not your typical story.

I LOVE being completely goofy with you.

I LOVE  that we have become one.

I LOVE that he truly is my best friend, and made me a better person

I LOVE that putting him first is my first priority, because I know he appreciates it.

I LOVE that he has taught me how and that it's okay to love again. I can't imagine raising our baby girl with anyone else.

I LOVE you Terry James and am so grateful to start this chapter of our life with you! Our first year was filled with memories to last a lifetime, I can't wait to see what happens in the years to come. Thank you for letting me be me, accepting my flaws and loving me for me!

Our biggest surprise!

Years ago...almost 7 to be exact I was leaving work to go meet my family at a funeral. I hadn't felt good that day and when I was about half way to my car, I couldn't even breath. I was practically crawling in the parking lot, tears streaming, wondering what was going on, I never felt that sick before. I remember driving holding my breath as long as I could because the pain was almost inbearable. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I knew something wasn't right. I remember trying to convince my parents that I would go to the ER after the funeral, I was fine if I didn't have to breath, I could hold my breath! Moms of course put their children first and my parents ended up taking me in. My sister and Alana went to the funeral, and then came to see me. They ran so many tests, I remember feeling scared because with every test I knew it was costing my parents more money, and it meant they still couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Come to find out, I had ovarian cysts burst. It ended up becoming a problem from then on out. Over the years I learned how to deal with the pain, and it has become more tolerable to deal with. Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year I was getting super sick, I could never keep greasy food down, or if I ate to much I threw it back up. I knew instantly that it was my gallbladder. I ALWAYS self diagnose myself, but that's what happens when I've been in the medical field for 7-8 years! Anywho when I made an appointment with my NP she asked about the cysts, I used to work for her so she knew my history and the frequency I got them. Of course they ran more tests, I went in to see the surgeon and I had a cyst burst right before my appointment so I was in even more pain. I had talked to him about it, and he told me I was right it was the gallbladder but the cysts were a concern. It took weeks of tests, and appointments, and they cleared me to have surgery but they also told me the most terrifying news...he's going to look at the ovaries while I'm in surgery and because of how frequent they have become they may remove them. It could be a health risk, and I also thought "more like a deal breaker for when I get married". At this point Terry and I were already pretty serious, I knew he wanted kids of his own, and we had talked if this would be the deal breaker for us. We didn't talk for a few days, it was a big issue to think about for both of us. I went in to my surgery and when I woke up and the surgeon was talking to my dad and I, I remember once he said "We left the ovaries for now" I thought PHEW, can't wait to talk to Terry! He called me a few hours after I got home and asked how it went, and what the doctor decided. I was relieved to tell him that I got to keep them, and extatic what it meant for me and the man I was in love with. Now here we are in October...I have felt EVERY emotion out there, I've realized that I have gained weight especially in the last few months, but I was thinking I don't work out like I used to, we've been going out to eat a lot more than usual, and I just had a birthday that maybe this is what happens when you hit mid 20's. I wanted to get back on track, but I just started training, and working crazy hours, by the time I get off it takes all I can to go pick dinner up, shower, have a decent conversation with Terry that lasts longer than 20 minutes without me crashing, just to wake up and head back into work in the wee morning hours! Terry was put in an awkward situation, but being such an incredible man he got the courage and addressed the situation. We talked and he went and got a pregnancy test, I took it, and the rest of the day I spent in tears. This is when EVERY emotion hit, I called and made an appointment but it would still be a couple more days before I got in. Sunday afternoons are spent with my family, Ash and I had to go get stuff for dinner, and she then addressed the same conversation Terry had with me. Terry doesn't get enough credit, here he was putting up with a fat girlfriend, multiple people asking him, and he talks to me and calls my sister on advice on how to go about it, and what the outcome was. He truly proved what a grown man he has become. Monday I worked an 11 hour shift trying to not think about what was about to become, Tuesday early morning I went into work for a few hours, picked breakfast up, went and met Terry and we headed to the doctors. I took another pregnancy test, met the doctor and she said "Oh you're measuring about 25 weeks!" I know, how is that possible to be that far along and not know. Like I said , it was just recently that I started really gaining weight, and not once did I get sick. It's all hit so fast, but the more I talk about it with Terry, my sister, and brother-in-law the more I'm realizing that it's what's meant to be. I feel like a bad mom already since I haven't even felt it, being in Utah I know people judge here more than anywhere else. I have certain friends that I was scared to tell, and others that I can't wait for them to know. Terry's friends have all been awesome. I was scared they would think "Dude she did it so she could trap you." I don't give his friends enough credit either because they have all been supportive. I have fallen even more in love with Terry during these past few weeks than I thought was possible. He doesn't even hesitate to call my sister or Shaun with any questions/concerns. I always dreamed of telling my family in some cute way, but there is more to life than announcing the birth of our baby GIRL! Terry knew it was a girl, and already SOOOO protective. When I go in for ultrasounds he asks "Do you have to push so hard?" hahaha she's going to be the biggest daddy's girl, and we are even more thrilled that she can have two cousins teach her the ways of life! This is all happening so fast, but I have been blessed with the most incredible support system out there! Valentines day is around the corner, but I'm glad we get to enjoy this holiday season preparing for our greatest blessing!